We are driving home from lunch, and my son and daughter are singing songs in the back seat.
(Daughter - in the most pathetic voice she could muster): Bubby, don't break my heart, okay?
(Bubby): I wont!
(Daddy): What are you guys talking about?
(Daughter): I don't want him to break my heart!
My son finally showed me the soft stick-em paper heart that he was playing with. She didn't want him to mess it up.
11/22/11
Boy Stuff
Editorial, not a dialog:
Ever since she was an incy-wincy little girl, she has always been a tom-boy. Here are some pleasant examples:
- Consistently wants a 'boy-toy' from McDonald's
- Argues with me about what to call her when she is pretending to be a fictional character
- She will not ever accept a female hero for her pretend identity, it must be a boy
- Example: Must be Buzz Lightyear, never Jessie; Must be Harry Potter, never Hermione
- Always chooses 'boy-colors' - Says things like, 'When I turn into a boy.' and 'When I grow up to be a boy.'
- Will only play with the boy barbies doing 'boy-things'
11/2/11
Toy Story Girl
(Daughter) Daddy, I'm Buzz Lightyear!
(Daddy) Oh but you're a girl.
(Daughter) Oh, then call me Buzz Bo-Light-Year!
A Couple Letters Off
(Daughter) Can I have a throw-up?
(Daddy) A What?
(Daughter) A Throw-Up! You know. It's red and you eat it?
(Daddy) Oh, a Fruit Roll-up!
10/28/11
9/1/11
Information That Would Have Been Useful...
Daughter: My tummy hurts really bad!
Mommy: What's the matter? Do you feel like you're going to get sick?
Daughter: No, I think it's the marble I ate.
Mommy: +Calls Doctor+
Doctor: Take her to the E.R.
+X-Rays show no sign of a marble+
Mommy: They said they didn't find a marble, when did you swallow it?
Daughter: Tonight.
Mommy: I don't understand. Who was watching you when you ate it?
Daughter: Grandma.
Mommy: You haven't been to Grandma's in over a month! Does your tummy even still hurt?
Daughter: Nope!
Mommy: What's the matter? Do you feel like you're going to get sick?
Daughter: No, I think it's the marble I ate.
Mommy: +Calls Doctor+
Doctor: Take her to the E.R.
+X-Rays show no sign of a marble+
Mommy: They said they didn't find a marble, when did you swallow it?
Daughter: Tonight.
Mommy: I don't understand. Who was watching you when you ate it?
Daughter: Grandma.
Mommy: You haven't been to Grandma's in over a month! Does your tummy even still hurt?
Daughter: Nope!
8/6/11
I Just Want to Win...
Daddy: Who wants a moped ride?
Both Kids: I do!
Daddy: Okay, I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 20.
Daughter: All numbers!
Daddy: No baby you have to pick one.
Daughter: Which one?
Daddy: Any number between 1 and 20. As in, 1, 2... 19, 20.
Daughter: No Dad, which number will make me win!
7/12/11
Ninja Attribution
Setting: Sitting down for breakfast.
Daughter: Daddy, you're not a ninja.
Daddy: Alright!
Daughter: Daddy, I'm sorry, but I'm not a ninja either.
Daddy: Oh! Why not?
Daughter: Well, ninjas need to be able to do flip fronts and flip backs. And you can't do either of those.
Daddy: Yeah, I guess you're right.
Daughter: I only know one real ninja.
Daddy: Oh yeah? Who is that?
Daughter: ...me...
Daughter: Daddy, you're not a ninja.
Daddy: Alright!
Daughter: Daddy, I'm sorry, but I'm not a ninja either.
Daddy: Oh! Why not?
Daughter: Well, ninjas need to be able to do flip fronts and flip backs. And you can't do either of those.
Daddy: Yeah, I guess you're right.
Daughter: I only know one real ninja.
Daddy: Oh yeah? Who is that?
Daughter: ...me...
6/28/11
The Beast Movie pt2
Scene Setter: Read this first!
We're watching the horrible 3rd sequel to Free Willy. It features a pirate amusement park.
Daughter: I like it when that guy gets in the pirate ship!
Daddy: Yeah that's funny, isn't it.
Daughter stops smiling turns to me:
Daughter: I said pirate ship...not Holy Sh#t. Pirate ShiP. Pirate SHIP! Not Holy Sh##.
Daddy: Ok honey. No need to clarify that.
Daughter: I just want you to know I'm not saying the bad word.
Daddy: Mission accomplished.
We're watching the horrible 3rd sequel to Free Willy. It features a pirate amusement park.
Daughter: I like it when that guy gets in the pirate ship!
Daddy: Yeah that's funny, isn't it.
Daughter stops smiling turns to me:
Daughter: I said pirate ship...not Holy Sh#t. Pirate ShiP. Pirate SHIP! Not Holy Sh##.
Daddy: Ok honey. No need to clarify that.
Daughter: I just want you to know I'm not saying the bad word.
Daddy: Mission accomplished.
Cute Stuff
Daughter: Dad, do snakes move faster, or turtles?
Daddy: um...snakes move faster.
Daughter: Oh, do snakes move faster than Cracker-diles?
Daddy: what's a crackerdile?
Daddy: um...snakes move faster.
Daughter: Oh, do snakes move faster than Cracker-diles?
Daddy: what's a crackerdile?
2/23/11
On a Ninja Kick pt 2
After hurting herself two times by trying to flip around the living room:
Daddy: Look, you can't be a ninja if you keep hurting yourself all the time.
Daughter: Look I can do a flip back (back flip for those of you who don't talk Sophia)
Daddy: I don't want you to hurt....
Daughter: OWWWWE (painful groan resulting after she bangs her hips into the coffee table)
Daddy: I'm sorry, but you are going to bed now. I told you not to be acting like a ninja any more!
Daughter: BUT I WANT TO BE A NINJA! I can't play Black Cops (Call of Duty: Black Opts) now?
Daddy: Look, you can't be a ninja if you keep hurting yourself all the time.
Daughter: Look I can do a flip back (back flip for those of you who don't talk Sophia)
Daddy: I don't want you to hurt....
Daughter: OWWWWE (painful groan resulting after she bangs her hips into the coffee table)
Daddy: I'm sorry, but you are going to bed now. I told you not to be acting like a ninja any more!
Daughter: BUT I WANT TO BE A NINJA! I can't play Black Cops (Call of Duty: Black Opts) now?
Somebody is growing up!
Daughter: Mom! Ken doesn't need his shirt on, he looks very pretty without his shirt!
1/30/11
1/14/11
He-Man?
Daughter: I want to watch my favorite show!
Mommy: What show is that?
Daughter: ya know. The one that says "By the power of grey balls!"
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